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The Marriage of Souls

Published on October 30, 2013

Love and Sex Medicine E-Book by Dr. Mark Sircus

Many years ago, on the central highlands of Brazil, I wrote the Marriage of Souls. It was an expression of my love and need for love and the world’s need for love. In Love and Sex Medicine, much of the essence of the Marriage of Souls is present but I did not capture the essence of what I myself did not think I would fully live.

The way that I see the Marriage of Souls—it is about creating heaven on earth together. I had that vision and put it down on paper 20 years ago and have lived a life of love ever since. From my perspective there is nothing more beautiful than true love, nothing more needed, nothing more hoped for than love, intimacy and understanding from another. Everyone on the planet secretly hungers for love but few find what they are looking for.

We are having a hard time with love and relationships so much so that many stop believing in love altogether. In Japan it is already a well-recognized phenomenon. Japan’s under-40s crowd en masse appears to have lost interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren’t even dating, and increasing numbers can’t be bothered with sex. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe. The country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy." A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34 were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30 had never dated at all. A survey earlier this year by the Japan Family Planning Association (JFPA) found that 45% of women aged 16-24 "were not interested in or despised sexual contact". More than a quarter of men felt the same way.

From the point of view of the Marriage of Souls, this is a tragedy. Anytime two beings touch closely on our planet it is something of a miracle so hard has it become to establish and maintain real love. Our pure beings need pure love, deserve pure love and live on pure love but somehow our minds, that separate from the heart, find other things beside love to keep itself occupied. The Marriage of Souls is about pure beings sharing pure love so it is only for those who want pure love more than anything else. The pure light of pure being, perfectly vulnerable, perfectly feeling, perfectly real is what we are looking for in the Marriage of Souls.

I discovered a long time ago that the most important key to finding love is seen in our willingness and ability to be vulnerable. To treasure vulnerable love is the first law of a pure heart and it is the vulnerable (meek) who will inherit the earth. The purpose of our life here on earth is to contact our being, expand and grow our being by coming into a direct relationship with the essence of our heart’s true nature. And what is this true nature? The Heart is the Vulnerability of Being!

The Marriage of Souls concerns itself with the quality of our love, its depth and the purity, the openness and honesty, with the quality of our communications and listening. The Marriage of Souls is about relationships between souls and as such transcends the sexual issue that so obsesses human consciousness.

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The Marriage of Souls is a divinely beautiful pathway that leads us to an eventual return to complete Oneness with one, and then with a greater family of beings. The Marriage of Souls is about a heavenly bliss shared between beings that love each other from the bottom of their hearts.

The mirror of God’s love is found in the love for many.
We learn this love when we open our hearts
and learn love in its many forms.
Each being offers us a unique opportunity to learn love.
The more beings we truly love the closer to God we become
for God loves all beings.

The expansion of human love into divine love is paralleled by our expansion past the limits of the possessive couple bond. The more beings we collect into our hearts the greater and nobler our souls become. The Marriage of Souls is learning the way God loves. The basic tenant of the Marriage of Souls is openness on a heart level. It is about the openness of the heart coupled with the freedom to love and communicate with other beings.

By their openness, people dedicated to the truth
live in the open, and through the exercise of their courage
to live in the open, they become free from fear.
M. Scott Peck

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Highlands of Brazil

The reason I am writing this particular essay is to celebrate, focus on and remember an extraordinary day I had recently. If you have read my essay about my most recent experiences with my wife’s best friend who had cancer, you will remember that my wife recently left me at Sanctuary with instructions to open my heart and love her friend. She also was praying for me to save her from cancer and the treatments prescribed for her, which included starting with stomach and spleen removal surgery. I wrote 19 years ago:

If you want to love my being because of The Oneness of Being
than you need to love her being for in the Oneness she is my
being as she is your being as she is all beings. If you do not love
her being than you do not love my being and then you will not
love your own being for we are all one being. Love her
being, love my being, and love your own being.
This is the love of God for God loves all beings.

Non-possessive love between intimate souls is a new light arriving now into our race consciousness. It is a freeing light. We open ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable to a great being, which is one with all beings. The Marriage of Souls is a door to the divine love that can actively be shared between souls who escape the bonds of exclusivity and ego control.

I feel ready to share the person I love the most
with another person who I love and who loves me.

My wife Luciana has been beautiful in my eyes since the day I met her 20 years ago. I saw, from the first tear she shed, that her physical beauty was perfectly matched with a beauty deep in her soul. So yesterday and these last days, weeks, months and years have led me to the understanding that I am married to the most beautiful woman on the planet.

Sooner or later, I hope to drag her out onto stage where she will begin to spill her love out to the world. Yesterday I was sharing with my wife the deep and vulnerable bond that is opening up between her friend and me. She was glad that she was not there so it could develop freely without her interference. I think she must be from another planet!

When the vulnerability of being meets up with an equal vulnerability
of being a strong bonding force is naturally set up between these
two beings. Open hearts can do nothing but love and when two
such hearts meet explosions of love are made manifest and
there is nothing we or anyone else can do about it. No power
on earth can dissolve the love of two persons if that love be true.

Intimacy creates an open arena in which the feelings of oneness grow. We must face our fears in the most intimate areas of life to regain an intimacy with our own souls. In Love and Sex Medicine, I clearly lay out the differences between intimacy, love and sex. There you will find a lot of reading about how sex takes us to our deepest vulnerabilities and that is why it hurts so much when someone is abused sexually.

The primary difference between egotistical love and the true love of the heart is seen in the difference between the constrictive, exclusive, possessive and controlling love of just one person and the radiation of love for many. True love loves every opportunity to love whereas the ego’s love is fixated on the love of one object, one body, one wife, one husband. It is fine to love another with all one’s heart, body, soul and mind but if you let your heart stop there then there is trouble eventually. We suffer when exclusivity totally takes over us and become dangerous to those around us.

Can the heart promise to love only one person?
Pure love is something that we radiate out freely.
No one can control the light and radiation of the sun.
The true heart radiates out a force that does not stop, 
does not rest at any one point. True love simply loves love.

To love one is a closed circle; its limits are too well defined. To love two is more; our circle expands. To love three is growth and from there, there are no more limits. I wrote these words 18 years ago but have lived and loved mostly with Luciana and my children ever since. I have been more of a recluse-not much exposed to people and their hearts.

The Marriage of Souls is the spiritual science of loving more than one other person on the deepest and most committed levels of being. We can marry more than one soul. We can marry souls who are already married to other souls. Souls who are married are committed to love for life. Recently, as I get ready to open up Sanctuary, I find the love growing around me and several people, who will become the backbone of our healing staff, are headed in this direction. The feelings of the building crew are also amazing as we all come together to bring this place into the world.

Group Consciousness stretches our limits.
When we love more we are more.
The feeling of more, being more, doing more, loving more.
The ecstasy of growing our being, being our being.
Individuality expands with the group demands.

The Marriage of Souls is the complete union of divine and personal love. It is the love of others expressed on the most intimate levels of being. It is marriage but a new kind of marriage. It is the love of many expressed on the level that has always been reserved for just one. This spells the end of traditional romance. It is the death of possession and attachment. I wrote those many years ago about a divine type of romance, which is a passion for love itself.

It was almost nineteen years ago that I said to Luciana that I felt married to her in my soul. That was six months before our first kiss. When I did finally get to kiss her I fell heads over heals with someone I was already loving deeply on a soul/being level. And of course in the same spirit I have loved with all my soul the children we have brought into the world.

Two days ago, I got married again on a soul level to a new being and my heart is just starting to expand to accommodate this happening. What does this mean?  The marriage vows of the Marriage of Souls: To love for now and forever the essence of your true being. To always be open to communicate and receive each other vulnerably, to not control or possess, to grow and to change, to hold and let go.

Any small group of individuals
who themselves transcend the separate function
of the ego and who live and think holistically
as one integrated being become
spiritually very powerful.
Christopher Hills

To always encourage the creation of more love even if it is between others and those we already love. Love feeds love. When we love more than one soul, we never have less love for those souls that we already love for all souls are one. For a couple to expand safely out into the light of The Marriage of Souls tremendous love and perfect communication is needed.

Open to experience, open to it all.
It’s thrilling and sometimes even terrifying.
Open to love and this is something else again.
Being open to whatever life sends us
is our proof of our surrender of our love for God.

The Marriage of Souls is that kind of divine love that can be experienced in our hearts as it radiates out to others who are themselves open to that love. In The Marriage of Souls we see the results, the love light being lit up in the eyes of our beloved ones. This is what happens when we really love; people love us in return.

God is willing into existence columns of light energy.
Edifices of love that reach for the heavens.
A new force on earth, purely group consciousness.
Two or more loving souls coming together
blinded by their own love light.
Fusion beyond all bonds
their love will light up the night sky
and be a beacon to call others onto the altar
of the most divine and sweet love.
When the duality passes into the trinity
then all will rest as one.
Once the Oneness of Being is created
between two or more souls
it becomes a powerful magnet
to others who are attracted to love.

Special Note: It is difficult for some minds to understand that love and intimacy can flourish in non-sexual spaces. Everyone wants to know and experience their true being; and this being is most directly felt and experienced through the experience of love. Many issues are complicated by the fact that we want both love and sex to come together. But before we can master our sexualities we have to master our hearts. Sex brings us to the deepest issues of life and love and the creative power itself. We have to put the heart in first place and make love only when there is love or we will incur great suffering.

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Director International Medical Veritas Association
Doctor of Oriental and Pastoral Medicine

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comments

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  • ac287149

    “Meek” is not vulnerable as you say. “Meek” means ‘power under control’, or better yet, ‘power under submission’. There’s an old English word for breaking and training horses, called “meeking”. The horse becomes trained to carry and obey his rider, but he loses nothing of his speed, strength, nobility, height when he jumps, or majestic qualities which make us turn our heads and watch him.

    If you’re going to talk about the Bible, then when the word is used, it means that whatever our strengths and nobility are, it’s all under submission to The Father. Meekness is also one of the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians. I wouldn’t call either Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit vulnerable

  • carolanne

    Hi Dr Sircus

    Thanxs for this article, it got me thinking. I do understand the healing energy of Love, and that Love itself is a frequency, a vibration of energy, it is in fact the strongest vibration we can share. And it can in fact be used to reset the low erratic frequencies of a person who is ill. Yes Love can be passionate and sexual. But Love is also what we feel for a beautiful summer day, a beautiful sunset, we love our children and our friends, we love a beautiful forest and on and on. Love can heal, it can energize, it can give hope. Love is more than we are taught it is. Lastly it is true that in the end, everyone who lives a long and full life want more than anything to become Love, in it’s truest vibrational form , the final goal of all
    of our beautiful spirits is to leave this planet a pure Love.

  • Bodhi Mom

    Dr. Sircus,

    I sincerely apologize for saying anything negative about your comments concerning your wife. I think I over reacted to your article alluding to an intimate relationship with another woman (in this case, whether intentional or not, it really reads like sex as part of that intimacy).

    Also, you say this: “The purpose of our life here on earth is to contact our being, expand and grow our being by coming into a direct relationship with the essence of our heart’s true nature. . . . The Heart is the Vulnerability of Being!”

    I would like to add that I feel the purpose of life here on earth is to contact our Higher Being, through the balancing of our karma, the learning of our lessons, and service to life. Our heart is our connection to God/Universe and yes, it is the vulnerable heart by which the grace of God will grant us acceptance to higher realms and shower upon us, great gifts and jewels, and perfect love.

    But as the Yogis and Buddhas have advised, we have to be careful not to get our spiritual (kundalini) energies stuck in the lower chakras. Which is what happens when there is too much emphasis on sex. When these spiritual energies are allowed to rise, they will rise to the heart to fill us with love and knowing, and then to the crown, to fill us with wisdom.

    There are two types of paths. The path of the celibate and the path of the householder. If one is able to find one’s Twin Flame or Soul Mate in this life to share in the journey, you are lucky. However, the final leg of the journey is always between us and God. Best Regards.

  • naturegirl

    First and foremost, I want to say that no malice was intended by posting my opinion about my desire for Dr. Sircus to clean up the essay. To clarify what I mean…

    Indeed the word intimacy can hold many meanings, much like the word, ignorant. According to Merriam Webster, ignorant can mean 1) a. destitute of knowledge or education, also: lacking knowledge or comprehension of thing specified. (parents of modern mathematics) b. resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence (errors). 2) Unaware or uninformed, ignorantly adv. – ignorantness n. syn IGNORANT, ILLITERATE, UNLETTERED, UNTUTORED, UNLEARNED mean not having knowledge. IGNORANT may imply a general condition or it may apply to lack of knowledge or awareness of a particular thing (*an ignorant fool*) (ignorant of nuclear physics). ILLITERATE applies to either an absolute or a relative inability to read and write (much of the population is still illiterate). UNLETTERED implies
    ignorance of the knowledge gained by reading (an allusion meaningless to the unlettered)
    UNTUTORED may imply lack of schooling in the arts and ways of civilization (strange monuments built by an untutored people). UNLEARNED suggests ignorance of advanced
    subjects (poetry not for academics but for the unlearned masses.) But what do we immediately *think* of when we hear the word ignorant? I would venture to say that most
    people associate the word with the meaning *stupid*, or *unintelligent*, not just someone who is unlearned in a particular field.

    My intent for asking you to clean up your essay or post is for the sake of others, as well as your own. I would hate for others to be put off by your post and not read any further… There is a wealth of information to be gained by viewing the many posts on this site that might be ignored after being put off by this particular post. Further, why do you feel that “true healing” can only be achieved through intimacy with more than one other person on earth? When I read the bible, the message I receive is that God wants for us to be more intimate with HIM. I do not see that he suggests we be intimate with many other mortals. Also, this approach appears to discount others who have achieved true healing through God’s love supplemented by self love and a common sense approach of healing through detoxification, consuming whole organic foods, real hydration, exercise, spiritual connection and other natural
    healing modalities. To say this would appear to discount the healing of someone like Louise Hay who healed herself from cancer by forgiving the sexual offenders from her childhood and releasing those toxic emotions. I belong to a skincare forum where there is an area to
    discuss many other different subjects. One subject/topic is cancer prevention, where we have discussed alternative methods of healing and prevention. I have often quoted Dr. Sircus and mentioned how I am using his anti-cancer protocol to reverse my fibrocystic breast disease with much success. In fact, my entire family is using the protocol as a means for staying healthy. Many members have discounted my posts and poked fun at the very thought of treating a “complicated disease” like cancer with natural modalities that have “no real science”
    behind them. Of course, we know WHY there are no specific studies to prove that cancer can be cured naturally. I would hate to see all of Dr. Sircus hard work appear devalued by this post which can be misconstrued to mean other than his *real* intent.

  • Bodhi Mom

    Why even bother having marriage vows when they can be broken? Forbidden fruits may be tasty, but perhaps there is a reason God had not sanctioned that we partake of them outside of his Laws.

    I have been told that to have more than one wife or husband is karmic. We don’t determine the karma, God/Universe does.

    We are spiritual beings above all else. Our first and last love is with our creator. This is the perfect love that we work towards. Why is it that monks are celibate? Part of it is so they don’t end up making a bunch of karma with sex partners and get detracted from the path to higher consciousness and eventually our ascension (breaking the cycle of rebirth).

    Dr. Sircus, stop the B.S. about how beautiful and special your wife is. Is your narcissism, traits you have written about, rearing it’s head? That under the guise of “special love” it is O.K. to do as one pleases?

    • Mark Sircus

      Bohdi Mom I should have my assistant delete your message for I have no B.S. about my wife……I speak about her the way I speak about anything…..with truth and sincerity and in this case unlimited love and devotion

      • Ciaran

        Not all of us aspire to nor adhere to Biblical principles, Bodhi Mom, especially not those written by prehistoric patriarchs who deemed women and daughters unclean and unfit, and of less value than men and sons.

        You’d be surprised, I’m sure, to be “told” something different: that lovemaking is one way to see the face of God. If celibacy is so wonderful, then how is it the Catholic Church is now grappling with thousands, maybe millions, of children, young people and adults who are being or were once sexually abused by priests who vowed celibacy? Seems to me renouncing one’s sexuality, is to turn it on itself until it becomes a force for destruction and pain. Some may be strong enough to remain celibate but some have no such strength, and it destroys them.

  • kenike

    On a deep spiritual level, I have throughout my life asked for guidance into unconditional love, especially when a current partner and lover’s heart is pulled to another. I find myself choosing to keep open and love all parties unconditionally and know that I cannot “lose” what is true in spirit. We understand and know so little about the depths of true love. We are also so conditioned to think that one person should be loved by and/or love only us. It is a challenging situation because of what we have been exposed to as what love is. Commitment???? I’m beginning to realize that the only true commitment is to your true higher self and through this understanding arises a deep love and reverence for all It is the ego that cry;s to be recognized to be of the only importance. To put back the ego takes great awareness, strength and courage. I still have a long way to go, but I still choose to love unconditionally and put my “little” self behind. I truely want to love and be loved unconditionally!

    • Mark Sircus

      Thanks for the beautiful sharing I agree its a committement and a difficulty and certainly a chanllenge to love unconditionally. I do feel though a fierce committment to my wife that I think will last for eternity….beyond this body for sure at least…..i call it divine romance………..just never stops….lucky me

  • Grace

    As the first commenter has done, I’m reading between the lines. One thing that is concerning is that it appears you’re alluding to an intimate relationship with this woman. Is she technically a patient of yours? If so, you’re crossing a huge ethical boundary.

    • Mark Sircus

      Actually technically she is not. Have not charged her and she also has not given me a budget with which to work with to make the normal recommendations I would make… but of course she is eating from my Cancer Kitchen, so is doing some of the basic protocol items like magnesium bicarbonate, iodine, liquid selenium, bicarbonate, biomating etc…..but anyone can do that and that does not make them a patient.

      When you say or use the word intimate I wonder what you project into the words meaning because if you look at the dictionary you will find that intimacy has its own meaning independent of love or sex. Both love and sex have very beautiful and quite ugly possibilities in their expression but intimacy can only be beautiful. So as far as I know intimacy crosses no ethical bound in healing relationships and in most relationships. I have written extensively about the distinctions between intimacy, love and sex that I think are important.

      • Grace

        It’s good to know you’re being sensible about boundaries. In this world, at this time, we have to be mindful of those. However, I quibble with the phrase “intimacy can only be beautiful.” Not necessarily. One can be forced into an unpleasant intimacy with poverty, or with violence, or deprivation, or other negative qualities. Those are beautiful? I don’t think so.

  • naturalgirl

    Woah Dr. Sircus, While I’ve read so many of your posts with great interest, and appreciate so much the work you doing, this post is a doozy. Reading through the lines here it but I’m glad for you that your wife is so trusting and that the person who came to you desperate for healing is indeed your wife’s friend. The disclaimer on the bottom speaks volulmes and I can only say that *most* people in a committed relationship or marriage do feel that sharing intimacy is crossing the line. Further, you’re right often times, regardless of intent, as you say “many issues are complicated by the fact that we want both love and sex to come together”… this does not and would not sound very reassuring to me if I were in this scenario. I think you should clean up this post so that your *real* intent is not lost. It doesn’t look good..

    • Dear naturalgirl,

      You make an interesting and important point. Not many men could do what Dr. Sircus is doing and not many women would trust their husbands the way Dr. Sircus’ wife does. This essay is part of Dr. Sircus intent to show how closed most people are and how this can often stand in the way of true healing. Does this mean something unacceptable is going on? Of course not! And we are now hearing directly from this cancer person on what the daily routine is there and how it is helping her to grow. I would be interested in hearing how you would “clean up this post” of Dr. Sircus? We are very open to feedback on his essays.

      Claudia French
      IMVA

      • Donald

        Well for starters, take out the my wife gave me permission to be intimate with my patient part. That just sounds sick.

        • Mark Sircus

          Donald you must have been hearing things. My wife left me with one instruction….to love her friend……that is what I published and that is what she said…….so please becareful what you think or project

    • Ciaran

      You can only say *most* people feel this way? Maybe. Maybe not. How do you know? You can’t know this for sure, because we don’t talk about things like this. Maybe now we will begin to be able to have mature conversations about these touchy, sensitive and yes, vulnerable subjects.

    • Mark Sircus

      Intimacy:

      1. Marked by close acquaintance, association, or familiarity.

      2. Relating to or indicative of one’s deepest nature.

      3. Essential; innermost.

      4. Marked by informality and privacy.

      5. Very personal; private.
      These first five definitions of intimacy draw the perfect picture of what most people look for in meaningful deep relationships with others, with or without sex. One of the great sadnesses of life here on earth is that real intimacy between beings is rare. Sex, on the other hand, is much more common. The sixth definition of intimcay:

      6. Of or involved in a sexual relationship.