The most important changes we are looking for in terms of the heart are changes in our basic capacity for love. Stretching our hearts to love more is the work of a lifetime but great lovers look to accelerate this process. When we step out into the light of expanding our love, we step into a cosmic feedback machine that confronts us with many mirrors of the quality of our love. We are faced with other people’s reactions, and if we truly love, then we must work out, through deep communication, all the problems that our impure love is creating in the inner world of others.
When our hearts see the limits of their love it’s motivated to dig deep inside to work toward change. However, change is not easy, and our emotional patterns are set in deep groves. Our being is the sum of everything we have ever done, been, and thought about.
Not only do we need to fall in love with love.
We need to fall in love with change.
If there is no will, and no love to change, how can we change? Many people hang on to concepts instead of changing them. It helps to see that our concepts are not reality. Concepts are only mental models of reality. All change on the being level happens beyond the world of religious and spiritual concepts.
Concepts are obstacles to change.
The secret to meaningful change and the discovery of our true hearts is found in our willingness to look at those things inside of us that we do not want to look at. The essential nature of the ego, besides separation, is self-blindness. Our minds are caught up in an endless chain of rationalizations that continually justify our present existence. Because the heart is the totality of our existence, we deny that totality when we deny any aspect of ourselves.
The wisest person is the one who listens the deepest.
We cannot say anything to a person who is
identified with their ego or self-sense.
There are just certain things that we simply do not want to see about ourselves because it is too painful. We don’t want to suffer, so we do not want to look. Nobody likes to see his or her own weaknesses. No one likes to be wrong. It is that one thing, that tragic flaw, which is obvious to the people around us, this is what we least want to see and deal with. When life or our friends or lovers try to point things out to us, we manifest our resistance to change as a lack of listening.
All relationships begin a rapid death
when people resist growth and change because
that is when communication breaks down.
Love gets destroyed when communication breaks down,
and communications breaks down because people
are not interested in real change.
Life continually tries to mirror us and tries to shed some light on what is dark inside of us, but we usually do not want to listen. Life is a mirror that reflects the quality of our consciousness. The greatest way we have to prove that the quality of our love is pure is by our willingness to change. What greater act of love is there but change? Especially when our actions or non-actions are disturbing the life of loved ones.
Change is the symphony of the Heart
People love the stable, the familiar, and the secure. Usually, life must slap us hard and even then, we do not look deep enough. Communication Psychology is the psychology of change because it recognizes that communication itself heals by leading us into a deep process of growth and change. A commitment to authentic heartfelt communication and listening leads one down the razor’s edge of real change.
Our willingness to change is the only way
we can convince ourselves and others
that we are in fact absolutely committed to love.
We all know how hard it is to nudge anyone in a new direction. Even those close to us resist change and to be honest, we all resist change. Even those of us who champion change resist. Bibles were created to freeze us into the past, so they are not about change. Politics is not about change, no matter how loud they shout, it is about protecting the status quo. Most of us will be sitting ducks to change, especially violent change that we are not prepared for.
Love is the heavenly force that binds all as one, two as one, three as one, and so on. Love is the power that closes the circuit between beings. There is nothing more beautiful than true love, nothing more needed, nothing more hoped for. And unfortunately, nothing more is lacking in the world than true love.
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