Listening is the ecology of being,it opens the doorway to the heart.Listening creates trust between beings, listening creates love.
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. And the best way to understand people is to listen to them. Nothing shows off the quality of our love better than our listening. The pure heart actually is a perfect listener. It listens so deep that it actually penetrates into the inner world of another and becomes one with that person. The heart has an ability to listen past the word level to the being level where as the mind is busy ‘minding’ the words. There is no quicker way to find ones own heart center than by tuning into and listening to the inner world of another. This is a great spiritual secret and was illustrated in the recent Robin Williams movie about Patch Adams; the interned mental patient turned illuminated doctor. His illumination happened on this point. He became aware of what happened when he would tune deeply into another’s world by listening to the inner world of another and he saw clearly that the trained Psychiatrist did not listen at all. What he discovered was his own heart, the same heart that just loves to give and to help and to love. And the secret is:
When we enter and pay attention to another’s inner world we have little time for our own self obsessions.
Listening is the art of paying attention and is in essence love in action. Listening creates love; it is love. So learning how to listen is really learning how to love. The heart loves to pay attention and has the will to pay attention because it loves to pay attention. This is the key, the heart loves others inner worlds. It is the nature of the heart to care and to love and how else can we see peoples inner worlds but by listening.
HeartHealth Technique # 6 is called Mirroring and was developed into a fine spiritual art form by Christopher Hills. His method of training his students was through the communication and listening arts. People find this approach to love most difficult because it confronts us directly and quickly with all of our resistance’s to something as beautiful as real love. Real communication and listening training is absent across all levels of society, business and education because, people in general, on the deepest and most gut level, do not want to listen. The general lack of listening in life reflects the general and deep lack of heart and the lack of heart.
We need safe non-separate environments in which communication is made easy so love is made easy. Communication is made easy when there is too much love and desire to understand each other. There is nothing more provoking to our emotions and feelings than having our feelings go unheard. Non-listening destroys marriages fast yet people still do not pay attention to this basic life skill. Happy and successful relationships are marked with people who show each other that they are interested in listening to the other. When we risk a feeling, and it drops off into the thin air of nonlistening, it leaves us with a very unwholesome feeling.
Non-listening leaves us with a very unwholesome feeling in the heart.
In good fights between husbands and wives one calms the other with listening, understanding and empathy. Listening always will draw us closer to the heart and its vulnerable feelings where as non-listening has the opposite effect.
Our capacity for love grows automatically as we learn to communicate and listen from deeper levels of being.