The first key or clue to the heart is: can you open yourself to being hurt? Can you communicate in such a manner that it does not matter what others say or do? If we are totally open we can not really be hurt too badly because the heart is the totality of being and that being is strong and open to whatever the cosmos sends it. When we are totally open in the heart there is less place for the hurt to stick, less mind to dwell and suffer obsessively. The heart can feel and suffer, but for strong hearts these feelings pass reasonably quickly. The heart-felt person can fall, can feel, can suffer, and can be thrown to the ground. But these people pick themselves up, dust off their pants and get about the business of living life.
It is our capacity to endure the sufferings of life that often measures the capacity of our being. Love experienced to the depth of our pain. This is one true measure of our love, our capacity to feel and care.
Even the universal image of Christ on the cross depicts him of losing hope for a second when he said, "Father, why have you forsaken me." To think that there was no pain in his great soul at his own crucifixion. He consciously opened himself up to the greatest of great hurts. But he found the answer to the deepest anguish when he said, "Father forgive them, they know not what they do." This was such a releasing thought, freeing the soul to transcend the hurt, the hurt that comes from being a human beingon this planet. Such a great master of consciousness can brave the ultimate of tests. The most tender hearts are actually the toughest they can take anything. To be totally vulnerable is a form of surrender to whatever might happen. That is the strongest person. It is helpful to remember when dealing with the realities of Christ’s consciousness that when he said Father forgive them, he was talking to his own immortal consciousness, his own highest and most pure soul. (*Footnote: There are many people and traditions that believe that Christ survived the cross and lived on for many years after. See the Koran, and the Gospels of Thomas and Philip.)
If we cannot be vulnerable with the one we love the most on this planet we can forget the universe of the heart. Our closest and most intimate relationship gives us by far the best mirror of our love or lack of it. If we cannot be vulnerable with them life is a hell on the heart level. Anything we keep secret from the closest person to us has the feeling of a great weight around our hearts. Anything we are afraid to share we tend to hide and this closes our heart, even though, what we might be afraid of is the total inability of our partner to really listen to us. We still have to risk remaining in our own heart center.
Honesty is one of the purest expressions of being. Honesty is fostered through our total dedication to communicate everything that we think and feel.